
Chapter 20
In the Mindspace, I stared off for a moment, the digital tapestry blurring before my eyes, before recovering my bearings. Time here is accelerated, twenty times faster than the real world, but it comes at a price: severe mental strain. I cannot enter for an entire week, once I enter, no matter what emergency.
It did not matter in the last life because it was not a hell mode unlike this one which shocked the hell out of me from the get go.
I felt like I missed something but could not pinpoint exactly what. I shook my head gently; it is normal, perhaps I will suddenly remember later.
Now is important; therefore, entering now is better, damn the headache. If I wait, the window of opportunity might slam shut. Every second counts when the clock is ticking down to world end.
I jolted, feeling annoyed. I mean; what the hell! This was not in the script!
It was supposed to only be a book to pass the time, after all, in that world—
I should not be here. I should have become one with the vast universe, a speck of stardust returning to its source. The system should have initiated the final reset sequence! I had earned my rest, deserved to be released from this endless cycle of reincarnation and suffering.
Have I not been obedient enough in the last world? Did I not fulfill all the objectives, overcome every obstacle, and sacrifice everything for the sake of the narrative?
What more did they want from me?
The unending visions, the cries of agony, pain, and their desperate begging for vengeance haunted my waking moments, echoing in the silence of my mind. The weight of their unfinished business pressed down on me, a crushing burden of guilt and responsibility.
How could I not back then?!
Their suffering had been so palpable, their pleas so desperate, that I had no choice but to act, to become their instrument of justice.
(Host mentality unstable…)
I did not write because I wanted to be famous, to bask in the adulation of readers, or because of a broken heart; I have long been immune to the petty dramas of romance. Heh, oh no, no, no, I wrote because of them!
Like a fucking haunting, their voices clawing at the edges of my sanity, demanding to be heard.
‘Save me!’ a whisper, desperate and pleading.
‘I died so unjustly, and they all blamed me!’ a furious accusation, filled with bitterness and resentment.
‘I was the darling of heaven!’ a lament, laced with nostalgia and a profound sense of loss.
‘My children!’ a primal scream of maternal anguish, echoing across the void.
‘My family!’ a mournful cry for connection, severed by tragedy.
(Administrating calming effect…)
Over and fucking over their cries in my damn ears, like a cacophony of suffering that threatened to shatter my mind.
(Failed…)
If I sit and want to just stare off in that life, the mundane act of gazing out the window would be instantly replaced by a flood of horrific images, each one more disturbing than the last. A constant, unrelenting barrage of trauma.
(Retrying…)
I had to bow my head and beg to be released from this haunting, to be granted a moment of peace, but they wanted the world to know their stories, to expose the injustices they suffered.
I wanted to be lazy! But I was forced to write over and over again, compelled by an unseen force to chronicle their lives and deaths.
So why? Why am I here, stranded in this decaying world when the world is about to end with a faulty memory!?
(Failed…)
Heh, they saw a woman so old in age, a withered crone burdened with the weight of countless lives, but so beautiful regardless, her eyes holding the wisdom and sorrow of the ages. As a lover of beauty in all its forms, I sacrificed my —
(increasing dose x2)
Ahhhhh!!! I roared and screamed, venting the pent-up emotions, a primal release of pain and frustration that echoed through the room, before releasing a shuddering breath, which began to calm me somewhat. The pressure in my head eased slightly, the voices fading into a dull hum.
(calming…)
It did not matter; I am here now, and I have a life to protect, a tiny, vulnerable being who depends on me for survival.
Should I say I am lucky or unlucky? I’m definitely unlucky, cursed with this impossible situation, but maybe a little lucky to have been given a second chance, a purpose to fight for. Who knows which exactly.
Sigh, with the half-baked system, and adding in my transmigration here seems to be rather trippy. Well, at least it helped me stay sane, or as sane as I could be in this situation.
I glanced at it, the flickering icon in the corner of my vision, and looked away, thinking of repairing it to an extent later, to at least make it somewhat useful. It flickered erratically in the corner of my vision, like a damn eyesore. I sneered and looked away, though I was grudgingly grateful for its existence.
Back then, when I died in my first world, this thing had appeared, like an ignorant lamb to the slaughter. I accepted it.
For so long, I had drifted in the void, a disembodied consciousness yearning for a lifeline. I should have just continued drifting, embraced the nothingness.
If not, I would not have to be a mother without even doing the ‘deed’! The irony was not lost on me.
Am I Mary?
Cause I feel like Mary right now, okay~.
In the space with my corporeal form, with many miscellaneous things spread out as far as the eyes could see; plots with vegetables and fruits, carefully cultivated rows of tomatoes, peppers, and leafy greens, a warehouse with dried goods and different clothes and shoes, neatly organized shelves stacked with canned goods, preserved meats, and a rainbow of fabrics. Even a corner where a pile of gems of various colours shimmered invitingly, raw diamonds, emeralds, and rubies glinting under the ethereal light.
New cover photo I hope you like, each stage a new one will be added.









You must be logged in to post a comment.